During class we discussed the idea of soul mates, and whether there was any truth to the idea, or if it was a complete myth. This can be tied in with the characters Heathcliff and Catherine in Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. An article titled “Are Soul Mates a Myth or Reality?” by John Grey, also discusses both sides of this argument.
A study that was done at Rutgers University in 2001 found that 94% of people twenty to twenty-nine year olds believed that you want to marry your soul mate, and 88% believed that everyone has a special person that is just for them. Even people who do not believe in the idea of a certain person that is just for them, they still look for an “ideal” person, which can be based off of traits that they desire in a partner. John Grey is a doctor that words with couples every day, and he found that many couples immediately claim that they are soul mates in the beginning of a relationship, but what actually counts is when at the end of a decade a couple still has the notion that they are soul mates. In the beginning an individual’s mind may be clouded by the passion and “honeymoon” love stage.
Some people find the whole situation to be a scandal, but there is also another difference. There is a debate over whether you find soul mates, or if you become soul mates over time. People become soul mates by growing together and learning more and more about each other every single day they are together. It is something that has to be worked at, no matter how in love the two people are it will not be easy all the time. There is potential that when you meet someone you can believe that you are soul mates, but this is proven over time as the relationship becomes stronger and is challenged. When the couple overcomes the test or the challenge that is when it can be seen how right they are for each other. I believe that there are certain people that you will feel a connection with as soon as you meet them, but you cannot really tell that they are your soul mate until you engage in a relationship and make it through hard times.
In the world today there is a high level of divorce rates. This may be because when people fantasize about their soul mate, and then they face a challenge their partner will fall short of what their hopes were. Due to that fact alone it can cause a strain in the relationship, and lead to a downfall in the relationship. In order for it to work there needs to be more in the relationship then just love. When arguments arise in the relationship, the partner is no longer there to lift the other one up and they begin to question the whole idea of where the relationship is headed.
There is an openness that needs to be established in order to even find the soul mate. I find the idea of soul mates really fascinating. I do believe that everyone has someone else that is made for them, but as the John Grey said there is the idea of becoming soul mates. There is not necessarily a way to know from the start, but after working alongside the other person and growing together you will be able to tell. I do believe that Heathcliff and Catherine were soul mates, and you can even see that when they were not together neither of them were truly happy. They would work so hard so make sure the other one would not be completely happy, ultimately hoping that they would see what was missing. At this point someone needs to start questioning what is going so wrong that the divorce rate just continues to increase. The reality or myth of soul mates really can relate to everyone because people desire to be wanted by a significant other, and it can even be related to the high divorce rates.
